Thursday, October 11, 2007

Work Vignette

When one of my co-workers has a birthday, he or she brings in food and leaves it in the staff room for everyone to enjoy. Some people bring healthy stuff, some people bring non-healthy stuff, whatever. Everyone has a copy of the birthday list, so if you want to avoid the staff room on these days, no problem.

Anyway, one day I was a bit short of food, so I went down to the staff room hoping for chopped veggies. No such luck: there were bagels cut into quarters, and donuts cut in half, and cream cheese, and candy corn and assorted chocolates. As I surveyed what was left, the co-worker who was sitting at the table says to me morosely: "Come, eat, get fat."

I picked up a quarter bagel, carefully put cream cheese on it, ate it, looked at her, and said "I don't care". She stared at me. I picked up a half donut, took a bite, "My blood pressure is 90 over 60, my blood work is great, I've been heavier and I've been lighter, and in my family the skinny people die first," I finished the half donut.

She was still staring at me like I was some sort of alien. Then she said, sort of ruefully, "Everyone has f*ckim, this one is my f*ck. It really stresses me."

I wanted to tell co-worker to deal with the stress by lifting some weights rather than inflicting idiot comments on the rest of us, but I refrained. Co-worker looked miserable enough as it was. Would I have eaten the quarter bagel and half donut if she hadn't been there? Probably not. I would have gotten something better from the cafeteria. But I have some buttons, and when they get pushed the old me responds first. Mind you, at one point I would have eaten an entire bagel and an entire donut in front of her, but I am older and mellower now and I don't kill flies with a sledgehammer. :-) Anyway, I don't think she'll make that comment to me again.

Linguistic Note: "F*ck" does not mean the same thing in Hebrew as it does in English. As per this 2005 post at Treppenwitz, it is "a fairly benign Hebrew expression meaning 'mistake'".


At 6:46 AM , Blogger M@rla said...

You know I was totally wondering what F*ck meant!

I just learned recently that the Torah readings are on a fixed schedule - that everyone is reading the same thing on the same day (did I read that here...?) When people have a bar/bas mitzvah or other important event, do they try to schedule it on a day with a specific reading, or is it the luck of the draw? Do people complain about the boring or weird selection they end up with?

At 7:57 PM , Blogger Mich said...

For bar or bat mitzvah, you go with the Torah reading that's associated with the week of your Hebrew birthday. There are calendars online that generate the specific reading for a given date.


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