Sunday, March 04, 2007

Unused Vampire Fangs

Due to Purim I had to come to work in costume on Friday. On Thursday afternoon I went with one of my colleagues to a local costume shop and it was depressing: everything they had for women was either slutty or dowdy. Blech. I reluctantly bought a set of vampire fangs as a last resort, thinking that I would wear black and scrounge a cape from somewhere.

Then I decided that a vampire was the lazy woman’s costume, and that a little more thought was called for. I went to Kmart with two ideas: either I’d buy a sheet and go as a ghost, or I’d get black cardboard, yellow and white paint and a bunch of toy cars and go as the I-435.

Things turned out better than expected. The store had a couple of shelves of hunting gear on clearance at 75% off. Most of it was too big, but I did find a Medium camo hooded fleece jacket, orange safety vest and a cap with the slogan “The Hunt is On”. From the fake flowers aisle I added some plastic greenery that I stuck in my hair and on my shoes, and from the toy department I got a bow and arrows and a little plush animal. Voila; a hunter costume. I even had a biblical connection: Esau, Isaac’s hunter son of Genesis 25:27. Total investment was <$25, and I can wear the fleece jacket and hat anytime. It was by far the most comfy costume I have ever worn. So, anyone want a set of never-used vampire fangs?

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