Saturday, January 27, 2007


I think I considered quitting for about 10 seconds there. I was feeling like a total failure, like the person who trained so seriously during 2005 and 2006 had vanished and some pale and weak imitation had taken her place. I had one really tough day (a difficult class, then two people were extraordinarily rude to me, one to my face and one behind my back but knowingly within my hearing, all in the space of about 45 minutes) which actually added to my resolve, in the sense of “if I’m going to deal with this and turn it around, I need to be physically strong and mentally strong”. Teaching is not a profession for weaklings.

I discovered that the old memory card in my camera had some pics of my last day in the Jerusalem gym. I went to WalM@rt and got prints of a few of them. There’s one taken right after the last boxing class. Me and the coach and the bag. Me and the guys. My shirt is soaked with sweat and I look ridiculously happy. I’m putting that one up in my classroom, besides my “before” pic and my weight lifting goal charts.

The floor in my apartment is crooked. Not that you can tell by walking on it, but you can’t put a scale on any of the non-carpeted areas and get an accurate reading. I need to see how far I let myself go. My clothes still fit, but I’m no longer 137, that’s for damn sure. I’ll get a reading at the gym tomorrow, which will be bigger because it will be after eating two meals and drinking water and with clothes on. Unfortunately, the graduated beam scale at the gym is in a public spot and I can’t use it without clothes (well, not without causing a ruckus).

Another reason I can’t quit is my students: I’ve had a couple approach me for fitness advice. One asked if I train people, the other wanted to know how to lose ab fat. I sent the first one to Stumptuous and the second one to Tailor Made Nutrition I.

On the other hand, some of my students are still trying to argue with the “fruit, veggies and h20 only in my classroom” rule. Last week produced the following statements:

StudentA: “Ms Q, if I get an A on the next test, will you eat a candy bar?”
StudentB (different class): “Ms Q, If we all get an A on *reconsiders*… um a B+ on the Friday test, will you eat a candy bar?”

No, but I still want all of you to get an A.

I'm thinking about getting a second gym membership. I can (and do) get to my gym with no problems on Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday. However, Mondays I work till at least 7:30pm and the gym closes at 9:00pm, and Wednesdays I have Russian class and not enough time to squish the gym in between work and class. So I'm thinking of getting a second membership to the gym by my workplace. There's a gym where I work, and I think there's discount for people who work in the same building. It's not ideal, as I am not social when I train, but I need to be training six days a week to finish this project.


At 7:38 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Not only are you not allowed to quit your program OR quit blogging, but now you have to realize that you are already a trainer.

There is no escaping destiny!

At 5:13 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Don't give up, we've all been at that point. This is when it's important just to stick your head down and go at it.

If you get past this bit, the good stuff'll flood back.

At 10:24 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

You are 1000% right. Maspik Teruzim.
But I still am having troubles getting myself back into shape. And every time I try, especially lately, I gain more. I eat more and go to sleep crying. I had the health scare, it didnt help for too long. How do you push yourself to change your lifestyle forever, for good, before its too late?

At 11:39 AM , Blogger Mich said...

m@rla - and you are already a motivational speaker :-)

steph - thanks! So true.

anonymous - Hang in there. I know exactly what you are talking about (the eating and the crying sounds like me circa the early 90s). I am going to write a longer post on this on Thursday. It comes down to two things: first, every time you fail you increase your chances for success the next time around (really!) and second, you need to become selfish about it. Make the project and yourself the #1 priority in your life.


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